It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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