rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
