New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
