You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
