I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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