This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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