Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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