How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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