I just saw a hot homeless man
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
