OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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