I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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