Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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