Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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