apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
