the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
PANTIES FOUND
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