Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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