The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
