NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was confusing and full of hummus
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
