No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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