We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
