Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize