So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
we're so committed to being not committed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
