I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
