i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
