i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
