he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
