Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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