therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
