she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
