just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize