why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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