would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
