I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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