I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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