How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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