Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
