I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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