tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
