it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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