made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
