You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
