He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
