I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
