I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
