Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
