I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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