SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
