she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
