i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was born a porn star she said
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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