It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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