Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
