yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
