I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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