so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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