You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
