How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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