we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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