I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We had to coat check the pizza.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
