my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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