Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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