He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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